Feeling sad that I'd given too little time to God over the course of my life, too little time to prayer, too much time to trivialities, I experienced a different reaction than I'd had to such thoughts in the past.
Rather than my usual 'woe is me, I've wasted too much time, I'll never 'make up for it..,' I felt a gentle whisper of hope. If I could put it into a sentence, it was as if I sensed the words: 'but you have right now.'
I have right now. I cannot turn back the clock and re-live minutes of years ago, last week, or even yesterday morning. However, I have this moment, this place, right now.
I can pray at this very instant, even in the middle of writing this sentence. And I do so.
I can choose anew to live for Christ, in this moment. And I do so.
I have forgotten to pray more often than I'd like to admit during the course of my life. Sometimes I find prayer a struggle. But in each moment, I am given a new opportunity. A fresh chance to at least speak to God when I think of Him. A moment in which I can connect with Him, offer a word of thanks or praise - a moment in which I can start anew.
'I tell you, now is the time of God's favor. Now is the day of salvation.' (2 Corinthians 6:2)
'Every moment comes to us pregnant with a command from God, only to pass on and plunge into eternity, there to remain forever what we have made it.' (St. Francis de Sales)
I have Right Now.
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For personal reflection:
- When is my next opportunity to offer a short prayer? Am I taking advantage of it?
- What happens if I go through this day looking for 'right nows?'
This is an adaptation of a post from my other blog (The Breadbox Letters), shared here because the words 'you have right now' have given quite a boost to my prayer this week.
Painting: Désiré François Laugée, Le linge de la ferme
Love this post, Nancy!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mary!
DeleteBeautiful truth and insight. That is all we ever have isn't it? The now. I feel I have a stuttering prayer that goes on throughout the day in bits and pieces of offering. I am terrible at long meditative ones. The Lord must refer to me as Chatty Cathy. Thinking out loud here, addressing Him there, and on and on. I have come to realize He is with me throughout my hours and I am recognizing that in my own disheveled and chatty way. I need to work on silence before the Lord. He would agree.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I doubt He would agree :)!
Delete"Disheveled" is a good word for my own prayer, but I have a way to go to becoming truly chatty to Our Lord. Chatty is something He would LOVE for me to be with Him, I'm quite certain!!!
Echoing Nancy.... I doubt it too!!!I think what you're doing is a form of mental prayer, and quite a few have written on it recently. Keep at it, I'd say.
DeleteThis is how I often feel. Too much wasted time that I can't get back. And I've felt just like you - no words but more of a gentle whisper as you say that I have this one instant right now. And then the next and the next. Moment by moment. I have to put aside my negative thoughts consciously and turn toward God even if all I can do is offer up those past moments and be with him in the moment.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Aileen.
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