There has been an erosion of my grillwork. Oh, not the kind where I question scriptural truth - thank God it has not come to that. But over time, a steady drip drip drip of distraction has worn down my personal emphasis on Scripture. There are so many good and worthwhile activities and interests and legitimate amusements, all drawing my attention away from the 'grille.' There has even been a gradual pileup of devotions - good ones, to be sure - that I feel I must get done and fit in before falling at night into bed. Not that I've 'done' these all that well - in most cases, I've just wound up feeling guilty because I don't say the exact prayers every day that one or another friend may do.
As I've admitted here before, I can all too often 'beat myself up' about my prayer life. I don't pray long enough, well enough, hard enough, often enough, with enough structure (or maybe with too much?).
It was as if a fresh breeze swept across me last night, in an instant, and if I could put my perception into a word, I think it just might be: 'ENOUGH!!!'
Enough self-beating. Enough saying I don't pray enough. Enough self condemnation. Enough getting mired down in distractions. Just pick up the Bible, open it, and read. Let God show me that the grillwork of Scripture is still in place. It hasn't truly eroded (I realize as I write this); it's just that I've let myself get sidetracked. Not only do I have Bibles in nearly every room of my house; I also have some favorite verses listed under 'Grille' in a stand-alone page on this blog. I can find 'bars of the grille' without even having to leave this screen.
But leave it, I will. I'll go snatch up my oldest, most bedraggled, well-loved Bible and hold onto it for dear life, for in it I FIND life. I know this. By the grace of God, I know this.
I am being called back to basics. Again.
"I will instruct you and show you the way you should walk; I will counsel you, keeping My eye on you." (Psalm 32:8)
Painting: San Luigi Gonzaga, Love for the Word
